I know a lot of people who suffer from test anxiety. I find that this text anxiety often plagues studious people. They study and study, they sit on the front row and are constantly asking those one-step-ahead questions that I would never even consider. You know the ones: they have their noses in their huge notebooks, PowerPoint notes or flash cards right up until they reach the Testing Center counter, and even then, are not quite sure if it's enough. They can be seen throwing up muttered prayers to the heavens. And finally, after sweating through three hours of A, B, C, D, A and C, or none of the aboves, they bite off their fingernails as they wait anxiously to see if they get the flashing Congratulations! next to the last four digits of their student ID number. Poor kids.
I on the other hand, suffer from text anxiety's evil twin: test apathy. Actually, I don't even really consider him evil. In fact, test apathy is my fondest friend! Here's how it works. I study for however long it takes me to just not care anymore. (Two hours. Tops.) Then I hike or blag a lift up to the testing center and have at it. By this time, I'm just tickled at the fact that in less than an hour the burden will be lifted. I merrily fill in those bubbles, laughing inside at the professors attempts to throw me off with those sneaky combo multiple choice questions, I brilliantly plow through the short answers and essays. While my test anxiety peers are going over their answers for the 23rd time, I collect my things, bounce off to the counter, and hand in my test. Then, I too, take a gander up at the moniter, just curious to see my score. Often, the score is better than I thought it would be, and I trounce home, all the while thinking of how I will reward myself. Sometimes, however, I don't do so hot. But, by this time, I know that I can only blame myself, but I also know that its over and done with, and I let it roll off my back. Done and done.
This week, I've had a terrible time with paper apathy. Have you noticed how difficult it is to write papers during a four-day birthday celebration? Paper apathy works much the same way as test apathy. I just put off the paper until that blissful moment comes when sheer panic takes over, the adrenilin kicks in and voila! A brilliant term paper. The best part about this approach is that when you find your paper a couple of weeks later, you don't even recognize it, and you can give yourself a pat on the back for your brilliance!
So, now its time to get ready for finals. My my goal is actually to find the fine line between test apathy and test anxiety and go to my finals cool, calm, collected...and prepared. Wish me luck.
1 comment:
I totally suffer the same thing! With papers, not so much tests. Best paper I ever wrote was a one-hour, ten-page vomit fest (5 pages were of course an insert of one of my own short stories :) shameless, absolutely shameless).
I LOVE nothing more than going back over a paper and seeing how genius you were and not remembering it; phenom.
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